When we last saw the Grinch he was head of the feast,
Saying "Three cheers for Christmas" chowing down on roast beast.
But now Christmas has passed, and so has the New Year,
It's been one cold month in, and out with the cheer.
January came with twelve feet of snow
And already the Grinch knew the next month would blow.
"Bah!" The Grinch snorted, "February is near!"
"And that Valentine's Day is soon to be here!"
Sure, the Grinch hated Christmas one time in his life,
But it wasn't just Christmas that caused him such strife.
He had no one to write to, not a soul nor a Who
What good's a bigger heart when nobody loves you?
"Christmas is alright, since it comes once a year,
But what's the point of a day singles fear?
This Valentine's Day is a day that I hate,
The pain of rejection feels like a shot in the... WAIT!"
Then the Grinch had a plan, one of envious glee,
"If I can't love this day, then nobody can, see?
I'll go grab some arrows and a bow in a pinch,
If I tricked them with Santa, then Cupid's a cinch!"
And so down to the basement to his archery set,
The Grinch took all the supplies that he needed to get.
And as for the costume, he thought up in a flash,
"Let's skip it this time, I'm not up for a rash."
So he picked up a trenchcoat, but he said with a sigh:
"I may not look like Cupid but I still need to fly"
And then his dog Max pointed out in his glory,
(Did you really think I'd leave him out of the story?)
To a hang glider the Grinch received from Saint Nick
"Well done, Max!" said the Grinch, "That'll do just the trick!"
So he jumped from Mount Crumpit, and the wind took him higher,
Ready to change the hearts filled with desire.
The Grinch flew downward, but he crashed in a tree.
"I should have learned how to fly first, maybe"
But there in the distance, the Grinch spotted a pair,
Carving initials into an old tree with care.
"Aha! My first victims of Cupid's blind bow!
I'll just stick in an arrow, and awaaaay we go!"
And so "Twang!" went the arrow and spectacularly,
It hit into the heart that was carved in the tree.
"Oh Johnny," said Cindy Lou happily,
"Cupid's shot at our love, so now we're meant to be!"
The Grinch he did snarl, "Oh give me a break!
That arrow was for either of you, that's my mistake!"
He came down from the tree and he stared at the Whos,
"Curse all of you couples for my Valentine blues!"
Cindy Lou said "You kidding? You want a Valentine?
Then here, take my card that cost $5.99!"
The Grinch was startled, "That's how much you spent?!?
I remember when a ten pack of those cost just a cent!"
And so the Grinch he then puzzled, and puzzled some more,
"There's more to this holiday than I thought before!
I'll go make cheap cards and I'll go build a store,
The saps will come buy them and they'll fly out the door!"
And so the Grinch built his vast card empire,
His creations they spread like a love wildfire.
The Grinch, he was happy, 'cause those saps sure did pay,
They say that his profits grew to three figures that day
Did the Grinch learn that the day was more than just trash?
You see, he no longer cared since he was rolling in cash.
So Happy Valentine's Day, no matter your love situation!
(This message was brought to you by the Grinch Corporation).